"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."

Aaah...silence at last. Today, for some unknown reason, Ollie cried (when he was awake) for about six hours. Zoey and I both were a nervous wreck by the end of the day. I don't really know what was wrong with him, but he is fine now. I, on the otherhand, am exhausted. I chose the bird picture because there are two nests on our backporch, both filled with baby birds. You can hear them chirp for food incessantly--until the mama bird comes back. That, my friends, has been my day. Ollie eats like a little piglet (11 pounds 2 ounces at 7 weeks--up from 7 pounds 13 oz at birth). I feel constantly like a food delivery system, which, by the way, I know I am. And, when you have a three year old who pretty much grazes all day and doesn't eat a full meal--well, you get the mama bird analogy.

I don't know how my sister Brandie did it. Parker, her oldest, had colic and cried for four months straight. I would have lost my mind. Ollie has never cried this much, and I hope that it never happens again. Zoey had one day like this. I think it was 4th of July her first year; there were fireworks, I remember that. I remember crying on the second story deck--both me and her crying.

It is amazing to me that Ollie will grow up and be able to tell me what is wrong. That he will never remember whatever was ailing him today. Will never remember that I held him ALL DAY! I think about this all the time. What would happen to him if I let him "cry it out" like some people would advise? If so much of our "core" is created in the first three years, how can parents do it so differently, all of us thinking we are right. AAAH! No one told me being a parent would be so philosophical. I remember getting pregnant with Zoey and being overwhelmed by the pure potential that we had created. A whole human, or as Matty said, "I'll make my own people!" With Ollie, I kind of forgot that, until today. I spent today wondering who he is and who he will become. He's starting to smile and look a lot like Zoey now. I hope he takes after her...

Anyway, as you can tell by the incoherent babbling entry, I am exhausted. Going to veg out with Sunday night tv.
Amber